"Better a thousand times to die, than for to live thus still tormented"
-John Dowland
One brick at a time. One rock at a time. One day at a time. One foot in front of the other. Just take your last step; then take your last step again. I regret. I have a hard time lying to myself- so I have to hide from myself instead. There are hard ways to deal with hard feelings. Sometimes you just cannot take it back. This time, I cannot, I want to, but I probably should not. If I probably should not, I probably should not want to. Wants are not the slaves of the mind, however (though I might wish it so). Hard days. Easy days. One brick at a time.
I dislike being blinded to my own culpability in things. Others do not always think to point it out, however- and even when they do, not always very well or effectively. All things are possible with G-d. The story is not over. I may wish it to be (thinking that if it was over, I would 'get on with it'). I do not determine my steps. Be well and forgive me. I do not forget. I do not brush aside like dust. May the Lord cause His own wisdom to hold sway in our hearts and minds.
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