On Love, Truth, and Intentions

Have you ever wondered what role your intentions have in your speech? I mean how much do they really matter? Have you ever been dismayed at the thought that the person you were talking to really did not care about your intentions- but only about the words that you said?

I think that intentions do matter- but not as much as most people I talk to. At present I have what might be described as a weak view of intentions in general. It goes up or down depending on the medium. Speech, for instance, would be more intimately connected to intentions, while writing might be much less so in my view. Intentions matter, but they do not remove me from responsibility.

I would like to sometimes pull a get out of jail card when talking to a woman. She may be offended at something I happened to say- and I might like to say-"hey! I did not mean it that way. Therefore you have no right to take it that way. Therefore I am not responsible for your feelings (whatever those may be). Therefore I get out of jail for free." This would be nice and although I may have never put it quite like that- I am sure that I have implied that very chain of reasoning on numerous occasions. Would that be right though? Unfortunately, I am not so sure. This does not mean that I have the level of doubt about it that you might like me to have- but I do have my doubts none the less.

Sticking with conversation for the moment I think that I have to stop and ask myself the question afresh- what place does my intention have in my speech? If I intend to convey love, hope, and truth- but actually communicate criticism, pessimism, and truth- what should I think? What should I think when others take what I say in a way that is different from what I meant? Am I responsible for how others take what I say? Or am I only responsible for the content of my speech? I think the answer to the question of practice (if not the answer to the question of theory), is found in the relationship between love and truth.

I once said to a friend that there was no love without truth and that truth without love is worthless. Whether or not this statement will hold up under intense philosophical scrutiny it really does get at the heart of the matter. "Love is patient; love is kind; it does not envy; it does not boast..." (from I Corinthians 13) and "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am nothing..." (ibid.) Love is great and that is a truth. Understand that and I will likely be able to understand the answer to my own question.