He Is Being Taken

They take in their feed
They drink down their fill
And off to the tavern
They go for a swill.

Dancing and drinking
The night grows short
And those who stand shorter
Make for good sport.

So here in the badlands
Where dust and wind blow
Young souls are dying
They do as they're told.

On Family

I have to say that I have really been blessed by my family. There is something about coming from somewhere and belonging to something that family provides. This je ne sais quoi is an important bond that holds a person together. If a person is without this bond they will seek to find it in others. And it is right and good to make friends good enough that you consider them part of your family. Let me not forget the beauty and importance of family.

Drink Down the Night

They accuse you with their eyes
And hurl insults with their stares
As you pass them by in the streets
You can feel they do not care.

They would that you had died
And there is nothing you can do
Stuck and your hands are tied
Finished and you are through

You walk the night a stranger
All about is gay
You feel this night a stranger
And wait for other days

All about the party
All about they hide
They look at you a begger
Though their aching souls confide

Drink down the night
And swallow up the moon
Drink it down until first light
And take your hollow boon.

They hate you because the sickness
That is in their own hearts now
Is visible to everyone
Upon your weary brow.

End Trip

We ended our trip over spring break with no climbing, one injury, and several trips to and from fairbanks in what was origionally intended to be one long uninterupted trip. But at least we had the moonlight.

Making Camp

We didn't make it all the way to the hut the first day so we made a camp on the glacier about five miles from the road (ish). We set up the bibler and went to sleep as it was rapidly getting freezingly cold. We had a wonderfully romantic candle light dinner before bed.

Leaving the Car

We headed out on skis towards the Thayer Hut. We had to mess with bindings and skins a bit- but we are both relatively new to skis and mountaineering- so it was a good learning experience.

Arrival

We arrived at the Castner Creek Sunday afternoon (don't ask why it was so late- I just don't want to talk about it) and Frank Olive actually saw us leaving as he was heading back to town. The weather was gorgeous and there was just not a cloud in the sky.

Spring Break Continued

So after the trip to the bear in delta we continued on our way further south

The Bear

We made it down on sunday and paid our respects to the Bear.

Doubly Exposed

A couple of weeks ago Ben and I went to go climb a mountain.

We stopped at the IGA in Delta Junction on the way down to see the bear.

Sweet Chariot of the Lord

Swing low, sweet chariot
Oh Lord how I long to go home
Swing low, oh sweet chariot
Lord please carry me home
Do not put me down, do not take me out-
Oh Lord, please carry me home
Set my feet upon the rock, Oh Lord,
Oh Lord please carry me home
Pick me up out of the pit-
Oh Lord, please carry me home
Swing low, Lord, swing low
For that is where I am found
You are high, and I am low
Low upon the ground
Do not remove me, do not destroy me
Remember your covenant
Remember your Son
Do not withold your rebuke, Oh Lord
I am in your hands.
Swing low with your mighty chariot, my Lord
Come and carry me home
Do not deny me your instruction
Do not withold your love
Though you are fierce in anger
You will not break your covenant
For you are the Lord
And you have sworn by your own name.

Remove from me my shame oh Lord
Whether in comfort or in fire
Rip the scales from off my flesh
And embolden my desire.

As far as the east is from the west-
So make my sin from thee
As far as the east is from the west-
So make my sin from me.

Swing low, sweet chariot
Come and carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Oh Lord, show me the way back home.

Fo' Life

Yes, fo' Life

An Error In Estimation

So here I am. I am thinking of the great burdens that weigh upon me. I am certainly loaded down. And I have a sneaking suspicion that I am in error about something or some things. I know that I cannot deny the truths I read in scripture. I know that I do not know them all. Ignorance may account for some errors, then- but I do not think them all to be accounted for by a lack of stumbling upon a particular passage.
I think that there is a lot to digest and take in. I am a bit overwhelmed, perhaps- but the Lord will see me through. He will give me wisdom and discernment. Praise be the name of the Lord.

Where did I start? Where did I begin?

That day I knew something was wrong.
That day I knew it was over
That day I woke up with regret
That day my soul broke
It broke before the fall
It broke before the blow
It broke before the sin
Those would come
My soul saw this and it gave way and fell to pieces
Scattered about the earth.
I have never been the same since then- but it was not the first time...

It was wrong.
I knew it was.
No one ever told me
I just knew it deep down inside.
No one ever warned me
And now I was guilty
I knew a law had been broken
I knew I had been broken.
Life was now a sentance of death
To be carried out upon my rotting carcass
And it did not even make me feel better
- What I had done that is-
Only guilty, only ashamed.
I was born in sin- and it seemed so too would I die in it.
But that was not the first, either.

She came to me that day.
It was cool-
Maybe it was cold.
I remember the wind in my face
I remember the grass in front of the school sloping down the short hill
I remember the cloudy sky
I remember the faded brick of the building
I remember the leaves rustling fiercly
The colour of the asphalt
The sound of the cars-
Not many cars
For she came for me early
And I didn't have to walk
I always walked
We took a cab home
We never took a cab home
I always walked.
It was yellow
And even now I tell you through tears
I saw something in her eyes
She looked so guilty
She looked so hurt
She looked like she was overwhelmed and did not know what to do or say
But if she was overwhelmed...
What was I to do?
How could I have more strength than her?
Yet I must
I must
I had to
I had to be strong
Aparently this was how life was to be
She told me quickly and we got in the back seat of the cab
The seat was vinyl
She apologized
I did not understand
Did God apologize?
Then why would she?
Why should she?
She told me quickly and I didn't know what it meant
She told me quickly and I didn't know why
So few cars on the street in the middle of the school day.
So few cars.

Why would he leave me?
Why was I not worth staying for?
Could he see the future?
Could he see what I would do, what I would become?
Is that why he left?
Is that why he was not around?
I must not be worth staying around for.
I must not be worth anything
I must be worthless
He must hate me
And despise me for what I truly am
I think somehow he really did know me for what I would become
I think somehow he knew
And so this must be what life is
Perhaps there is a rest when it is over
That sounds nice
That sounds really nice.

On Mornings

Here is the day that has come and we who have been moved do now so move as to affect that which was decreed long before the foundation of the world. May we give thanks for this blessing and give praise to the Lord.

Chemical Explanation

"We're about ready to...
Rock steady."
This is how it went
And down we go
And down we come
From up on high
But we were not on high
We were wrong
And we told everyone
What was wrong
And they believed us
Because they trusted us.
And maybe now
We're about ready
And maybe now
We can rock steady.

On Consistency and Its Death

What does the Lord require of me? Is this not the question? Why ask, how then shall I be saved? Should I not concern myself with what is required of me? Is there something required of me? Why should my salvation be the end all of life? Why should my verbal confession be the goal of any preacher or friend or missionary? Is life about me? No no no no no! Life is not about me. If I keep thinking that it is, then I will keep thinking about myself. If I keep the focus on myself- I will see all that is not right with myself.
Does anyone think that God is trying to trick them? Does anyone believe that the God of the Bible is reluctant to save people and upset that some make it? Is faith in God equal to excepting some propositions? Did Jesus or did Jesus not reduce the whole of the law to two statements? Is this the sort of thing that is hard to understand? Am I supposed to continually doubt myself and my faith and everything else? Two statements. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, strength, mind. And love your neighbor as yourself. This is the love of God. This is the Law of God. This is not some trick that requires a theologian to interpret for anyone. This is not works. The Gospel and the Law are not at odds. Salvation by grace through faith is not an idea new to the "New Testement". What is new is that the Gentiles are now brought in to God's covenant with Jacob. The whole world will be blessed through you, the Lord said. Abraham was not saved by works. Jacob was not saved by works. Moses was not saved by works. God has always and only saved men through grace and faith by Jesus Christ. There is unity in the Bible because there is unity in God.
Who has believed a lie? I have believed a lie. Who has made decisions based upon a lie? I have made decisions based upon a lie. Who needs God to guide and direct him for His name's sake? I do. May my Lord and savior Jesus Christ the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, who has adopted me as His own lead and guide me, His child, in the way that I should walk. Amen and amen.

God Bless the Wind

sorrow and weeping
but part of my fabric
and in this being
do I move and breathe

And in this slime
always fighting
against myself and time
never righting

But who would deny?
Who they were inside
And who would change?
Who they were inside

Here I break your legs
And here I spit in your face
Now get up
You've only twenty-six point two miles to go.

Run you bastard
All I want to hear is your broken bones crunch
Let the blood spit
And slick the path behind you

You are illegitimate
There is no sympathy
And if you have it for yourself
You are a coward.

And so when the alarm sounds
Early in the morning
I rise to be beaten
I rise in the hopes that today will be my last.

In the hopes that this burden will be lifted
That this great weight
This impossible load
I will no longer carry

I cannot put it down myself
I cannot move up with it on my back
I can only stare towards the summit
And feel the wind on my face.

On Friends

People wonder what I do up north in Alaska. I hang out with friends just like everyone of them.

On the Truth and Lies and Living

Gary Cox said the degree to which you believe the truth is directly related to the degree to which you are free (from bitterness, rage, slander, lust, pick a slave master). I am reasonably sure that most people want to be free in this way- even those who do not believe in God at all. Maybe especially those who do not believe in God- for if you wanted to be the master of your own destiny, you certainly wouldn't want to be enslaved to your passions or addictions or any such thing. But that aside, it is true that the lies we believe (about ourselves and about the world) certainly do have an impact on us. May God give us grace to consider these things.