To My Love IV

I love you tomorrow; I love you always.
I feel you forever, forever inside me
I break in the waiting, and long for the joining
And ever and always I dream of your heart.

I am the least, the least of my brethren
And I am the weakest of men that I know
And I cannot fathom a love to remember
And I am afraid it will go up in smoke.

I long for death as one still born
And all in the valley is dark and cold
And you are a light and gift to adorn
But I fear when I find you I will be much too old.

You are not my salvation and not my rest
Yet I am afloat and I cannot sleep
You are beauty inside me and mostly the best
And I dream that you are real.

"I do not deserve you," is the thing I say
And I am hardly able to call aloud
I feel the confusion and fear for the sway
But I feel alone and haunted right now.

I've never seen an angel
But I am still here
Faith is rewarded
Remember, my dear.