To My Love I

I am the dead one, the low one
I am the weak one, the bad one
I am always stuck, but never still
And I do fear the coming kill.

I've spent nothing, but nothing's here
And all my labours dissapear
The darkness without is not the fear
It's the darkness within that scares me dear.

I have not the wherewithal
To stand up strait and stand up tall
I seem to stand-- and that upright
But like a puppet, it's the strings I fight.

And all the world conspires again
And I am ready for the blow
And all my fears are justified
I just thought that you should know.

You are probably being great
And being someone I am not
While I am doing things I hate
And hating all the things I've got.

If I could claw my way up there
To the light I've rarely seen
Perhaps I'd catch a glimpse of you
But only God can intervene.