You Can Never Go Home Again

Have you ever thought to yourself, "I would love to go back to this place; it was great when I was there last"? Have you ever gone back there only to find that it wasn't the same? If you haven't, you will (unless of course you never go back to a place you have already been). The funny thing is the draw of the memory. I remember some places and times in my life that were so great that... I mean the people, the fellowship, the accountability, the intellectual stimulation- all in one place at one time. I remember some people and places so fondly that just thinking about them makes me a bit teary. I long for that whole experience of the past sometimes and I wish that I could be in it now. The truth is, however, you can never go home again. I don't mean you shouldn't visit your mother on thanksgiving- what I am saying is something that you will all find out and understand if you aren't already nodding your heads while you read this. You can never go home again. When you return to a place that you once loved that you haven't been to in a long time- it has changed. I won't spend too much time on this, because I know no one ever gets it from hearing someone talk about it. Everyone has to experience it for themselves. I certainly didn't get it. I remember getting out of the service. I was so excited to go back home. I could not wait. I had plans laid out, arrangments made, the whole nine yards. Then my mother had a heart-attack and I went home (right before I was to get out of the service) to see her. It was quite the experience. Right away, as soon as I got home, I noticed a difference. My town was different. My family was different. My friends were gone and changed. I was upset at first- and that is when I remembered what someone had told me once (well, probably more than once)... you can never go home again. It is a significant statement that I never understood until I went home after being away for four years. I missed the way it was, but I knew that if my mother was ok that I did not have the reasons to go back to Boston that I thought I had. So after my visit, I flew back to the North and canceled my plans and stayed right where I was (though not on post anymore- which made all the difference). It was a good choice- but I couldn't have made it if I had not understood that you can never go home again. So to all you readers out there, Just remember the phrase, so that when you experience it- you will understand. I don't know anyone who has understood it that has not gone through it and I thank the Lord for the lessons He teaches us in life, especially the hard ones like this. So make a home wherever you are because God is there and He is not silent or slow to act. And don't forget to fly home and visit your mother every once in awhile.