Understanding What?

You know, I wonder sometimes about just what it is that makes me the way I am- and anyone who knows me has no idea what I am talking about- so if you don't know me, don't worry, you are not missing anything. What I want to know is, if I understand how I came to be, can I change anything? If knowing changes things, then there is real motivation to look into the past. If knowing is some sort of trivia, that just informs you on what to avoid if you ever reproduce, well then, I just don't have the same motivation.

I am tempted to make comparisons between myself and the middle east. Let's say we knew conclusively why the middle east is the hot bed of overflowing joy that it currently is. What would that mean for fixing anything? Is this a problem of too many factors to digest and put in their place? Or is it a problem of principle- are fixing it and knowing how it got that way two unrelated things? Or is it a poor analogy?

On Faith

I see before me the eyes of death
And my teachers bid me stare it down
But I just want to look away
I don't want to see.

I see before me the death of self
And my father's bid me learn it well
But I am afraid to make a choice
I just want to run away.

I see before me the path of pain
And my mothers bid me use it well
But I just want the pain to stop
And I just want to flee and hide.

I see before me a step to life
But I do not see the path
I only see the next foot forward
The rest remains unknown.

Holidays of Joy

Thank you americancatholic.org

"The roots of St. Valentine's Day lie in the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia, which was celebrated on Feb. 15. For 800 years the Romans had dedicated this day to the god Lupercus. On Lupercalia, a young man would draw the name of a young woman in a lottery and would then keep the woman as a sexual companion for the year.

Pope Gelasius I was, understandably, less than thrilled with this custom. So he changed the lottery to have both young men and women draw the names of saints whom they would then emulate for the year (a change that no doubt disappointed a few young men). Instead of Lupercus, the patron of the feast became Valentine. For Roman men, the day continued to be an occasion to seek the affections of women, and it became a tradition to give out handwritten messages of admiration that included Valentine's name."

Is This a Letter?

I am often reminded of the great gulf between us, you and I. We stare across it at each other. But it is a large gulf. Who would try to jump across it? It is too great. Where is there a bridge, someone always asks? Where can we connect? But when you look down, all you see is inky blackness- who knows how deep it is. And no bridge in sight. So we walk along the edges you and I, and sometimes we call to each other. I, myself, would just like to fall in and find the bottom. But there is the matter of the fence. This is all well and good to say out loud- but the real question is- who is writing? And who are they writing to?