Here We Go Again

Another year has passed campers. I for one may know more than I ever have before- but I certainly don't feel good about it. I just see better now what a truly long road it is likely to be. I remember my 11th birthday party. It was awsome. I mean I was shy and wasn't that good at being sociable- but it seemed normal. And I definitely thought normal was synonymous with good at the time. There were lot's of people- and even kids from my own class. I remember that my nana made my favourite cake. My mom made beef stew. Justin from school gave me a goldfish whom I promptly named void (and that died about three days later- I wrote a poem for him, I think... can't find it though). I thought the goldfish was cool- and I thought that getting a gift from a classmate ("dare I think him a friend?" I thought) was cool. Jennifer came too and got me something- and Jen and Justin's parents were there and they went off and "played" with my parents while we played amongst ourselves. There were presents and food and I think there might have been family, too- but probably not too many of them. All in all my elleventh birthday was ok- actually it was pretty good. I felt like I was normal for a bit, felt like I belonged for just a few hours. Good hours they were. I miss them. Another year and all that has come before has led me here. May God have mercy upon me and cause the light of His countenance to shine upon me. May He give me awareness of my birth in Christ that I have not known. May He show me how I am to live more this year than the last. May I, in my weakness- whether in despair or in triumph, whether in victory or defeat- give praise to His name and remember Him always. May He continue to withold that which I desire more than life until such time as is right. Blessed be the name of the Lord, without whom, knowledge falls apart. Another year.