Thirty-one Poems In Ten Days, or Memories of Holden Ln

#1

Have you ever wondered how you can go on feeling
When the feelings no longer seemed to be connected to reality?
I am trying to just let the feelings be
Just be as they are.

I don't really know how to cut and run
I can't seem to find the switch-
But even if I could, do you really think I could turn it off?

You know, I have been told my whole life
That expressing yourself is healthy-
But I kind of just thought that was for someone else-
The expressing that is
So now when I try, it feels weird, but seems normal
And I cannot write beautiful.

I do not have beauty inside me.

I do not feel beauty inside me.

I feel loss.

The heart I have is turned towards you
And all those miles apart are like
A knife embedded deep within
and all the life is flowing out
-But who am I to stop the flow?
And say this feeling must not be
For you are gone so far away-
But I am still right here.