Let Your Journey's Hope Endure (#3)

I feel numb this particular day
I do not like to feel like this
And though I know that it is "safe"
Nothing ever really is.

You were on my mind today
And I'm not trying to forget
Just trying to move through it all
And remember both the good and bad.

I wonder when the feelings will
Start to fade from my heart
And I will not remember you
Much the same way at all.

I don't think I'll get there soon
But if you never pray for me
And hate me in your heart of hearts
Then I will be quite right.

But you don't want the smug pained look
And I don't want to feel this way
And no one wants a war right now
And everyone has made mistakes.

I don't know if I'm alright
I hate it when they ask me that
But I know that you were good
And I still have a hole.

One day maybe we will hug
And never look askance again
But I think that He'll have returned
And set up shop for good.

I could be wrong though if it's right
And so much changes as we walk
And in the journey peril-fraught
Enjoying things might lead to talk.

But all it takes is one lone soul
And nothing gaurding what we keep
And what we hope is rarely sure
And so with boldness must we leap.

I hope this writing finds you well
Or in the faith that keeps you sure
And whether things are good or bad
Let your journey's hope endure.