Lord how could it be? The night is long and dark. I cannot see. I do not hear your voice. What way out?

For That Birth

And then it broke one final time
And all was lost in dirt and grime
And on the earth was broken glass
And through the gate I could not pass.

Dark times inside that make me wail
And dream of life beyond the veil
The list of woes I brought in here
Is capped about with angry fear.

The Paralyzed are now my kin
And I can't seem to make it in
And stuck in pieces on the earth
I wait again for that birth.

Sometimes...

Sometimes things are not as you wish they were. It can be trying. You lose one too many battles- or just lose a choice battle that was particularly devastating and life can seem overwhelming. It can feel just like failure is what you were made for. Perhaps you really were made to be a warning to others and all you can think is:

"But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?" (Romans 9:20 ESV)

Question

Are there problems without answers?

New Season

It is time for a change. A new season is about to begin. This season is, of course, winter. I will be blogging again. It will not, however, be the same. As such I will soon cease the re-publishing on Facebook. If anyone is interested they will have to visit the actual blog site which is www.warwithself.blogspot.com

Here's to hope (glass raised).

Dear Reader,

I wonder sometimes. Will I make it? Probably not. Death to the bad and onward we go. Cheers.

A Long Experiment

So I have been having a lovely break from blogging and there are no promises that I will really start back up again. So in case I don't I thought I should just say thank you to all of my readers. The two of you were such an encouragement (drum fill, symbol clash). Cheers.

The weight is such a burden
And all the world it aches
and groans for its redemption
it trembles and it shakes.

The light it seems so weak
Just a sliver in the dark
A tiny shaft cut through the night
and such a tiny spark.

We cry in silence to our gods
And here we see the best
It comes to naught and we are left
With nothing but this test.

The World Slips By

The world slips by
I can feel it fall through my fingers like tiny grains of sand
The night moves on
And now is come like the brightest sun
All in my dreams are safe for a time
But great things begin to stir
And terrible consequences brew and bubble
The world will soon be on fire
and not just in my dreams...

A Break In The Shooting

The shooting stopped days ago
Must be wounded good
but where are you progenitor?
And why should I have stood?

The last round hit me bad old man
Did it shake your grave?
Did you weep and cry for me?
To see me misbehave?

You'd think I'd been done feeling this
And long ago done trying
But all the world's awash in this
And all my heart's for crying.

Case of the Mondays

I know what you are thinking... and we are all glad that Brazil has babies AND access to the internet.

Paddle In The Water

Sometimes things are as they seem. You think they are terrible because they really are. You feel they are great because, hey, they are actually great.

Do you ever wonder why you wonder about why you might think otherwise?

The Real

The real weighs like lead
And sometimes it really is gold
And always I hear it screaming
And always it makes me feel old.

The real is why I run
The real is why I stay
The real is why I weep
And why it turned out this way.

Hiding makes for nothing
But prisons in the mind
And all the real I would avoid
One day I know I'll find...

YouTube Is Just So Wonderful

Quote of the Week XL

Needless to say, this behavior was not only entirely predictable, it was predicted by many on both sides of the test standards issue. Personally, I don't care either way. As far as I'm concerned, attempting to fine-tune mass public education through technical measures falls well into the lipstick-on-a-pig category. (-Vox Day)

"I would rather feel contrition than know the definition thereof." - Thomas a Kempis
from chapter 1 of the first book in "Of The Imitation of Christ"

How many things do I know of that I do not practice? How much condemnation am I in danger of falling under?

I know many definitions- but do I live many of them? I think not. My mind and heart and spirit are not always in accord. I am weary with learning because I am slow to do.

If I was faithful to even a quarter of the knowledge I had...

So many vanities...

My heart breaks a thousand times
And then a thousand more
I wish that I could see my dream
And walk upon that shore.

Thou long afflicted by your sin
Come with me to sing this song
Gird your loins and lift your voice
The day is nigh; the night is long.


Though thou wish for brighter days
They come not at thy beck and call
And now we sing in darkest night
And under stars we beat the wall.

Sometimes and for a moment...

I imagine sometimes a place where things make sense and all the flowers bloom- the piano plays and the drinks are smooth... And all my fears do not make me alone. The life flows deep and so do I. Rythms are not foreign; they are inside me.

A place that I have not ruined. A place that is not dead. And all the tears are wiped away. Every single tear.

I imagine a place that is not here. And sometimes I wish it were now.

Some days are like fire
Some days are like bliss
Some days are heavy
And some like a kiss

I cannot imagine
when I am alone
how I will make it
And what will be done.

Some pains are fire
and some pains are bliss
some pains are heavy
and some like a kiss...

Be at rest
Find peace my soul
Take all the pieces to the whole
Bind them up and make them sing
Let the dead to life us bring

You have fallen very far
And all the death and weakness choke
And though you cannot see the sun
Listen to the one who spoke

Be at rest
Find peace my soul
Though you hear the darkest song
Be at rest
Find peace my soul
Though it seems forever long
Be at rest
Find peace my soul
Listen to your maker's voice
Be at rest
Find peace my soul
Be at rest.