Jump Turn Magic, Kevin, Jump Turn Magic

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Harry Potter Camping?

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Exhale Played

Exhale

There is a dark cloud that sits over me
There is a cold sun that does not warm
I can feel the threat of emptiness
Embrace the dream that made me breathe.

I feel the wind stop strait away
Standing in the corridor
The air is dead and calm
All the world has stopped in expectation.

I dream a dream this very night
I am filled with the hope of pregnant dawn
The rays not yet upon my face
The wind not yet in my hair.

Together

Just some old and not so old favourites.

Some Drives Are Just Better Than Others

What Did I expect?

Have you ever done something you knew would result in something unfavourable, knew before you even did it- but still went ahead and did it anyways? Just wondering. Comment away chillun's

Flight

How hot my love does burn for you
And equal is my wrath
And which can I be trusted with
In such an aftermath?

I long as one bound fast in chains
Who yearns for light beyond the stones
While in his prison he does hum
In aching, sad, and dreary tones.

What can you do, when you have naught,
And all the world detains you here?
What can you do when all your strength
Has so quickly turned to fear?

That You Might Know Of Dowland

Some composers do not get enough air time. They write beautiful music and are forgotten by the masses. I know my readers crave beauty and a sentiment they can relate to. Here is a sample of the lyrics alone of a song by Dowland entitled, "Can She Excuse My Wrongs?" I encourage everyone to check out this composer and lend him your ear.


"Can she excuse my wrongs with Virtue's cloak?
Shall I call her good when she proves unkind?
Are those clear fires which vanish into smoke?
Must I praise the leaves where no fruit I find?

No no: where shadows do for bodies stand,
Thou may'st be abus'd if thy sight be dim.
Cold love is like to words written on sand,
Or two bubbles which on the water swim.

Wilt thou be thus abused still,
Seeing that she will right thee never?
If thou canst not o'ercome her will
Thy love will be thus fruitless ever.

Was I so base, that I might not aspire
Unto those high joys which she holds from me?
As they are high , so high is my desire:
If she this deny, what can granted be?

If she will yeld to that which reason is,
It is Reason's will that Love should be just.
Dear make me happy still by granting this,
Or cut off delays if that die I must.

Better a thousand times to die,
Than for to live thus still tormented:
Dear, but remember it was I
Who for thy sake did die contented"

Proof Of Love

When I have had my fill of love
And sit so drunk upon the sand
Filled with all that it provides
Will you leave me standing still?
And in the moment that you call
How will I begin to trust
The one who has so driven me
Into such a great despair?
I would not that any man
Be so pressed by such a one
And be so used and tossed about
Yet I have always wanted you
And no amount of sense has come to bear.
I am all alone it seems
And you are but a memory
Yet you speak of love as though you knew
As though you understood.
How may I in this dark night
See to hear your crys of love?
How may I believe your words?
What should count as proof of love,
That I might not throw reason to the wind?
You stray from me and strait away,
You claim yourself to misery
Yet when you willingly jump into
The parting way away from me,
You act surprised that truth is true.
Shall I remain true to you in dire straits?
Shall I remain true while you are here,
Elbow deep in my own guts-
Shall I remain?
I know not what shall sway me now-
Do not ask more silence from my lips
I know not what I can accept
When you have thrown me thus aside.
You cannot ask the things you do
And keep your conscience clean,
Love makes demands upon the soul
And does not count the reason cheap
Love with your mind as well, dear love
Though truth without love does not matter much
You still shall not find love apart from truth.
And will not find me at all if you persist.

A Prayer

How then now shall I at the last submit myself to your rule, oh Lord. As I grasp at wicked straws and futile dreams I am brought low by thine own hands from thy love. And I cannot in good conscience forget to scream thy wonders and mercies from the roof tops. Yet not as I would wish it- and not to assuage my heavy guilt- in your time and your way let it so be. I humbly ask thy forgiveness. Let me not be consumed by my own sins. Let not bitterness in my heart dwell with only ill effect. Praise be to you, oh Lord, the most high. You have laid me low. Praise be your name.

Canoeing

This weekend there was a lovely voyage on upper Chena in the H.M.S. Gunroy. There was a battle in which we were sunk, but all was not lost as we resurrected her from the depths and sailed on. Highlights of the Trip included Bonaparte imitations and a face-melting paddle solo at the end of our trip. A lovely voyage really.

The Park Road

I am looking forward to riding on the park road. What do you do about the bears, though? Let me know if anyone has any suggestions.

Footprints

Have you ever wondered what you will leave behind in a person's life once they are gone? Have you ever wondered what they will remember about you, if anything at all? I think the interesting thing is getting to the point where you want to leave more than foot prints in the snow that will presently disappear in the wind.

Sweet Summer Will Pass Away

Soon, thankfully, summer will be over, and the winter will return. Sweet winter. Sweet, sweet winter. I do not really care for the heat. It reminds me of hell. No one wants to be reminded of that.

What I'm Fighting For

You don't know
You don't understand
You have not been there
And your actions betray you anyways.

While the snowflakes fall
Slowly to the earth
I know peace.

I am nothing here
And you have made sure that I feel it
I am nothing here
And your words are a cruel hollow joke.

In the wind blowing
Chapping my skin and bringing hard the cold
I know peace.

I may fall soon
And it will be nothing to you
For sometimes you have to break someone to make someone
And I need breaking.

Not all loads are a burden
Not all work saps your soul
I remain restless until I find rest in thee.

The Simple Life

Life in the mountains is so simple. The hardest decisions are hard in a way that is usually categorically different from actual life. You just need to stay warm, eat food, drink water, and try to climb something (which amounts to going up). You talk to friends in camp (as in this picture of me and Frank somewhere in the Deltas) and when you succeed or turn around, you just go back to the car and drive home. Why life seems so much different back in town I may never know.

Dream

Long ago I had a dream
And in it I was happy still
And though the masses always teem
I drank and ate and had my fill.

Deeper still I look this day
deeper in the heart I fear
And in that place I find the dream
But I don't know if it's far or near.

Waking slow I rise to walk
And feel the sun upon my face
Sweet Jesus Here I look to you
For the strength to run the race.

You Can Never Go Home Again

Have you ever thought to yourself, "I would love to go back to this place; it was great when I was there last"? Have you ever gone back there only to find that it wasn't the same? If you haven't, you will (unless of course you never go back to a place you have already been). The funny thing is the draw of the memory. I remember some places and times in my life that were so great that... I mean the people, the fellowship, the accountability, the intellectual stimulation- all in one place at one time. I remember some people and places so fondly that just thinking about them makes me a bit teary. I long for that whole experience of the past sometimes and I wish that I could be in it now. The truth is, however, you can never go home again. I don't mean you shouldn't visit your mother on thanksgiving- what I am saying is something that you will all find out and understand if you aren't already nodding your heads while you read this. You can never go home again. When you return to a place that you once loved that you haven't been to in a long time- it has changed. I won't spend too much time on this, because I know no one ever gets it from hearing someone talk about it. Everyone has to experience it for themselves. I certainly didn't get it. I remember getting out of the service. I was so excited to go back home. I could not wait. I had plans laid out, arrangments made, the whole nine yards. Then my mother had a heart-attack and I went home (right before I was to get out of the service) to see her. It was quite the experience. Right away, as soon as I got home, I noticed a difference. My town was different. My family was different. My friends were gone and changed. I was upset at first- and that is when I remembered what someone had told me once (well, probably more than once)... you can never go home again. It is a significant statement that I never understood until I went home after being away for four years. I missed the way it was, but I knew that if my mother was ok that I did not have the reasons to go back to Boston that I thought I had. So after my visit, I flew back to the North and canceled my plans and stayed right where I was (though not on post anymore- which made all the difference). It was a good choice- but I couldn't have made it if I had not understood that you can never go home again. So to all you readers out there, Just remember the phrase, so that when you experience it- you will understand. I don't know anyone who has understood it that has not gone through it and I thank the Lord for the lessons He teaches us in life, especially the hard ones like this. So make a home wherever you are because God is there and He is not silent or slow to act. And don't forget to fly home and visit your mother every once in awhile.

Just A Brief Thought

You know I have noticed that people use religion and religious language to avoid dealing with two things. I have noticed they do these two things frequently. The two things that people do not want to confront (it seems to me) are culture and tradition, and their own emotions.
In the first, people want to avoid having to evaluate what their parents taught them, or their Church growing up taught them, or all their friends at home think. They do not want to consider that these things may be unnecessary or even wrong, so they dress it up in religious language to give it a sort of authority. They may even think (or begin to think) that this is really the authority a particular belief or way of doing things has. They might actually believe that they think this way, or they do things that way, because that is what Christians do or think. The truth of the matter, however, may be altogether different. There may be no biblical mandate whatsoever for doing things a certain way or thinking things are a certain way. It is hard to ignore tradition. It is hard to ignore the advice of the ones you love and trust. I say that if it is hard to ignore these things then you are doing good. You shouldn't ignore what your family or friends, or church says to you. You also shouldn't accept it unconditionally. If I love you (for instance), it does not make me infallable. My love for a person does not garauntee that I will give them good advice. So although if I love a person they should not ignore me- they also should not take whatever I say as gospel truth. (which is why meditation on the Word is so important)
In the second, people often feel a certain way and they ascribe that feeling to God, or to the Holy Spirit in their life, or to some act of conscience- when in reality, they do not want to admit that they feel a certain way. They do not want to have to deal with the consequences of their feelings- so they couch them in religious terms. They say that this or that doesn't seem right- I feel like the Spirit is telling me something. I do not for a second think that the Spirit will not guide you and even prompt you, but I also do not think it is wise to blame God for things that you yourself do and feel.
Since I am on a break, I will have to leave it at that for now.