A Prayer To My God

After you destroy me
After I die
Please revive me
And make me to fly.

After you break my bones
and drown me in the sea
please lift me up
And give life to me.

After my body is stretched upon the rack
And all my bones are ground to dust
Please make me live
And cause me to trust.

After you beat me
And I am at my end
Please wake me from this nightmare
And cause me to dream again.

After the hordes surround me
And I am crushed to the earth
Please visit your breath upon me
And tell me of my birth.

I despair, no victory
And hope has fled my sight
Slay me Lord I am your slave
In hope, or in this night.

I cannot create in myself what I need
It does not exist within
Truth is not from within
I cannot save myself- especially not from myself
All toil and song
has lead me this long
and now the darkness I do see
and see that it is inside of me
The world seems lost and fading fast
And on its way strait down to hell
and dragging children down with it
as they clap and sing.

Here inside I feel the weight
The loss is heavy on my brow
The hope seems far
How long oh Lord?
I will toil
And I will trouble
And for my labours
My pain will double.

You who seek a way to light
Are better off than you think
It is those who do not see the dark
That stand upon the very brink.

You who seek a way to truth
Are better off than you know
And in despair your voice may rise
To heights in health you'd never throw.

Heavy sits the cold hard truth
On the backs of average men
And when the stones cry out to God
The time is lost and past again.

On the Allure of Being Understood

Have you ever wanted to be understood? Have you ever felt like you were not? Does the desire for being understood really also contain a desire to be accepted? It is possible to be accepted without being understood. It is possible to be loved without being understood. It is possible to have loyal friends and lovers who do not understand you. It is possible to be cared for by those who do not understand you. Why, then, is being understood so alluring? Why is the idea of it so intoxicating? It seems as if you could live your whole life without it, but it seems like most of us do not want to live our whole life without it. Why is that?

We also have to ask ourselves what we mean by "understood". Do we wish to be accurately profiled? Do we wish to be predictable to someone? Do we want someone to be able to finish our sentances? It seems like these things are not what we mean by "understood"- or at least they are not the full description of what we desire. It seems, actually, as if a person could spend enough time with us to be able to predict what we are going to do and finish our sentances, and the like- but still not really understand us.

So what is the allure of being understood? What do we really want?